I Wanna Dance Without You
by Crowdreamer
Summary: Follow-up to Twenty-Four. As Olivia recovers from her harrowing experience with Lewis, a teenage victim draws her back into her job. Olivia's attempts to help the girl backfire, however, creating a difficult situation between the two of them. As Olivia and Elliot dig deeper into the case, Olivia becomes emotionally involved, discovering horrific truths difficult to face.
1. Chapter 1

_**Author's comments: **__Begins where __**Twenty-Four **__left off._

_Nothing like an intriguing sex crimes case__to bring Olivia out of her funk and get her back to her normal bad-ass self. I can't think of any spoilers for this one just yet. It's a nice, normal (ha!) SVU case, with elements of Olivia's healing from the Lewis debacle intertwined. _

_ I usually stick with stories that are more personal to the main characters, but this one's more like an actual episode (almost). There's a personal reason I'm writing it (and no, not because it happened to me, lol). So welcome aboard to Season 15, episode 2 (or 3, the last one could have been a two-parter)._

_ Oh, and I probably won't be working so fast and furious as the previous story, so there may not be a chapter EVERY SINGLE DAY. Sorry. I do have a life outside SVU, believe it or not._

**I Wanna Dance Without You**

Chapter One

Part 1.

"Elliot Stabler, Manhattan SVU," he said, holding out a hand to shake that of the doctor's. "And this is Amanda Rollins."

The doctor escorted them to a hospital room, saying, "She came in as an attempted suicide. But when I examined her, I noticed that her panties had blood seeping through them. I asked her about it, but she refuses to talk about it, just wants to be admitted to the psych ward."

"How old?" Elliot asked.

"Sixteen. Name's Anna, but so far I have yet to get a last name."

"Why don't you let me talk to her, Elliot?" said Amanda. He knew she was right—the girl might feel more comfortable talking to a female.

He stood back as Amanda approached the patient, a doe-eyed brunette girl who looked younger than her age. She studied Amanda warily, one hand resting protectively on her belly. "Hi, Anna, I'm Amanda. I'm a detective," Amanda said gently, in a voice Elliot knew she had acquired from observing Olivia. Amanda began to take a step closer to the side of Anna's bed, but stopped when the girl startled. "It's okay, I'm here to help you."

"Are they going to admit me?" Anna said, staring down at the bandages around her neatly-slashed wrists.

"Yeah," said Amanda. "But I have some questions for you first. The doctor noticed there was some blood on your panties."

Anna looked up at Elliot, and he took that as his cue to leave. "I'll be out in the hall," he said. As he paced the sterile floor, he thought about Olivia. Three months had passed since Lewis had snuck into her apartment, subjecting her to twelve hours of rape and torture so brutal that it had left her with permanent scars, most of them unseen.

A month ago, she had gone on trial for assault after she met Lewis in an abandoned warehouse, making him strip naked, and then shooting his nads off with a gun, right in front of Elliot and Amanda. Elliot had lied on the stand, matching his bogus story with Amanda's, and Olivia had been spared the punishment of a prison sentence.

Elliot would never regret his decision, despite the investigation into his perjury by Internal Affairs. He and Amanda were placed on suspension, and just returned to work two weeks ago, after IAB failed to prove that they lied. A note in their files cited sloppy paperwork, and recommended they be sent to a training session on documentation. Amanda went. Elliot skipped it.

Olivia seemed better than she had before the shooting. Elliot would like to think her emotional healing was tied to his renewed presence in her life, and the fact that they had been intimate. But he was a little nervous accepting that she was okay just yet, because the last time he had thought she was doing fine, she was secretly suicidal and staging her own demise, to follow shortly after she shot Lewis.

She had seemed like her old self lately, just bored, and perhaps a little distant. He thought she might be missing work, but there was no telling if she would be able to return. Having been through the worst sex crime imaginable, it was hard to see how she would be able to go to work each day and be reminded of her own experience. Maybe she could work in a different unit, homicide perhaps . . .

Amanda emerged from the girl's room. "I couldn't get her to tell me what happened," said Amanda. She wouldn't even tell me her full name, or who her parents are."

"Why did she try to kill herself?" said Elliot.

"That much I was able to get," said Amanda. "Her counselor dropped her as a client, and she was upset about that."

"Wonder why she was in counseling."

"I don't know," said Amanda, "but the other question I have is, why would a counselor drop her?"

The doctor returned, and Elliot said, "So what's gonna happen to her, doc?"

"She'll be placed on a 72-hour hold in the psych ward until we can find her parents, if she has any."

"We'll work on that in the meantime," said Elliot. "We may not have a sex crime just yet, but we still have a missing girl."

The doctor nodded and went back into the room to check on Anna. On their way out, Amanda said to Elliot, "You know," and then she shook her head.

"What?" said Elliot.

"Nothing. I was just thinking that it would be nice to have Olivia here. If anyone could get her to talk—"

Elliot scratched his head, his mind racing now. "Maybe . . ." he said. And then he shook his head, saying, "Nah."

Part 2.

Olivia squatted down and placed flowers on the grave, which only had a thin layer of grass over it. She stood, brushing wisps of hair away from her face, but never fast enough to keep the wind from blowing them back. "I'm sorry, Brian," she whispered, staring at his gravestone.

After her trial, she had been elated. She no longer had to face the prospect of prison, and Lewis was in jail awaiting trial, permanently injured due to her actions. Elliot was in her life again, and their relationship had deepened into something more than just work partners. They had admitted feelings for one another and lived together in his apartment. In fact, Elliot had played a huge part in her healing. If not for him, she would likely have felt unworthy and unable to partner with any man again.

But she still had the flashbacks and an overall sense of uneasiness due to her ordeal, symptoms of PTSD that would take time to alleviate. And then there was her job. She had been an SVU detective for fourteen years. It was more than just a career to her—it was her life's purpose. Without it, she didn't know what to do with herself. She had run through the options—rape counselor, detective in another unit, but none of the other options seemed as appealing. There was an emptiness inside her ever since she left her job, and Elliot wasn't enough to fill it.

But she couldn't imagine returning to work either, just yet. Everything about her job—the pictures in the files, the stories, the perps themselves—would all remind her of what she had been through. And she couldn't guarantee that she wouldn't overreact when apprehending a suspect and do something over-the-top, possibly hurting someone again, or worse.

She didn't hear her phone ringing, but she felt it buzzing in her pocket, and fumbled around until she found it. "Benson," she said, more out of habit than anything else. No need for formalities when she was no longer working.

"Hey, it's me," said Elliot. "You still meeting me for lunch?"

"Yeah," she said, "It's going to take me a little longer to get there, though. I'm at the graveyard."

"Oh," said Elliot, his voice dropping. "Wait there—I'll come pick you up."

Part 3.

Neither of them seemed to be in the mood for talking. Elliot picked at his food, while Olivia sipped from her water, watching people come and go through the door to the cheap diner. Usually she was the quiet one lately, but Elliot seemed to be lost in another world.

She studied his face now, thinking he had been silent a little _too _long. "Anything wrong?" she said.

He shook his head, but said, "Just a case I'm working on. You know."

"Wanna share with me?"

He looked up from his french fries and peered into her eyes, probably trying to decide if she could handle it. "We have a teenage girl at the hospital, suicide attempt, who won't tell us anything about herself."

"Was she raped?"

Elliot paused for a second, and Olivia got the feeling he was trying to judge from the tone of her voice if she was over-reactive. "We don't know. She had blood in her underwear, but she won't say what happened."

Olivia rested her elbows on the table and rested her hands in front of her mouth. Questions stirred in her head, and she tried to shake them and focus on something else, but her mind snapped back like a rubber band to the girl repeatedly.

"I'm working on finding her parents," said Elliot. "Surely there will be a missing persons report eventually. Somebody's sick with worry over this girl, I'm sure. She's not the runaway type, and she's not a drug addict. Tox screen came back negative."

Thoughts swirled in Olivia's head as she fiddled with her straw. "Who questioned her?"

Elliot's eyes flashed up at her. "Rollins."

"Huh," said Olivia. "I'm surprised she wouldn't open up more. Did you try?"

"Nah," said Elliot, pushing his plate away. "There's no way she'd talk to a man. Girl's scared half to death."

Olivia looked down at her half-eaten food and sighed. She wanted to say what was on her mind, but she didn't think Elliot would take it too well. Unable to keep it in any longer, she said, "What if I tried?"

Elliot's head popped up. "You mean you wanna come back to work?" he said, rubbing the back of his head.

She shook her head. "I don't know. I'm just . . . I think it might help me get my mind off . . . things."

"Liv," he said, "Do you think you're ready for that?"

She pulled her lips in between her teeth and said, "Yeah. I think so."


	2. Chapter 2

_**Author's comments: **__Mwah ha ha . . . I am evil. Or at least I write it well._

**I Wanna Dance Without You**

Chapter Two

Part 1.

Olivia took a deep breath and held it as the elevator approached their floor. No sooner had she set foot into the squad room when Munch almost walked past her. Doing a double take, he lurched to a stop, and said, "Am I seeing things? You look just like a detective I used to know—"

"Shut up, Munch," she said with a hint of a smile.

"The captain in?" said Elliot, shifting his feet impatiently.

"Hey, Liv, good to see you," said Fin, brushing past Munch to give her a hug. "Captain's in his office, talking to Amanda."

On their way to talk to Cragan, Olivia eyed her desk, which now contained a variety of Elliot's possessions. She thought she should probably be grateful they hadn't replaced her with someone else, like they had when she went to work undercover for the FBI. But she couldn't help but wonder if there would be room for her, now that Elliot was back.

Olivia could hear pieces of the conversation coming from Cragan's office. "—can't keep this case open if there's no evidence of a sex crime."

"Can't we keep it open just one more day, see if someone comes looking for her?" said Amanda's desperate voice.

Olivia popped her head in, and Cragan stopped himself from saying anything further. "Olivia? Good to see you. What are you doing here?" he said, eyeing Elliot.

Amanda smiled, "Hey, Liv," she said. Olivia waved and smiled back. Amanda had been a rock for her while she was recovering, coming to visit and bringing her things to keep busy. Even in the past few weeks, Amanda had made a point to come and keep her company, possibly sensing she needed the companionship while everyone Olivia knew was busy with work.

"I, uh . . . I need to talk to you, Captain," she said. Amanda started to clear out to give them some space, but Olivia said, "Wait, don't leave, Amanda. It's about the case you and Elliot are working on."

Cragan lowered his eyebrows. "The teenager in the hospital?"

"Yeah." He got quiet, and Olivia continued tentatively. "I'd like to see if I can get anything out of her."

Now Cragan looked at Elliot, his face stern. "You shared details about an ongoing investigation?"

Elliot shrugged. "Sorry, Captain."

Cragan turned his attention back to Olivia and said, "You know you have to be reinstated in your position before you can do that."

"I know," she said softly.

"Are you ready to come back to work full-time? You can't just cherry-pick your cases, you know."

"I know."

Cragan got tight-lipped, and then said, "You'll have to get approval from Huang, after he runs a full evaluation on you."

Cragan stared at her, and then said, "I want to talk to you." Glancing at Amanda and Elliot, he said, "Alone."

Elliot and Amanda walked out haltingly, and shut the door. Cragan said, "Olivia—"

"Captain, I know you're worried about me being able to cut it, and—"

"Olivia—"

"And I know you're afraid I might go ballistic on somebody—"

"Olivia, stop." She closed her mouth. "I was just going to say, let's see how it goes, okay? Take it easy at first, I'll feed you the less gruesome ones."

"But I thought you said—"

He shook his head. "Welcome back, Liv. But you need to wait until Huang clears you before you question that girl, understand?"

Blood drained from her face as she realized what had just happened. "Yes, Captain," she said, casting one last grateful glance at him before she turned to leave his office.

"Oh, one more thing," he said, holding up a finger. She turned to look at him. "You'll be partnering with Nick again, not Elliot."

A knot formed in her stomach as she examined his face, trying to guess how much he knew about her relationship with Elliot. But she tightened her lips and said, "Yes, Sir." She missed working with Elliot, but she had mixed feelings about working with him, not wanting to jeopardize their personal relationship. Plus, she worked well with Nick, and had grown attached to him as a partner.

Elliot was waiting for her at his desk. "So?" he said.

"So let's go talk to Anna," she said.

"Seriously?" he said, eyes wide. "It was that easy?"

She stifled a smile. "Yeah . . . ya know. I have to do a psych eval with Huang, but because this is so time-sensitive . . ." She shrugged her shoulders and walked toward the elevator.

Part 2.

When Olivia entered the hospital room, she knew this girl was not the average teenager. Anna tensed up as soon as Olivia got close, so she stayed back several feet at first. "Hi, Anna, I'm Olivia," she said gently. The girl would barely look at her, catching glimpses of her out of the corner of her eye. "I'm here to help you."

"Are you a cop too?" said Anna gingerly.

"Yeah. But you're not in any trouble." She paused, watching the girl stare down at her hands. "Anna," she said, "I'm betting your parents are pretty worried about you. Can you tell me how I can get in touch with them?"

Anna's eyes grew wide. "No!" she said, shaking her head. "My mom can't find out what happened. Please don't tell her. She'll be so mad . . ."

"Okay, okay," said Olivia, putting her hands out in front of her. "What about your dad?"

Anna shook her head. "He's out of town. He's gone a lot."

"But isn't there anyone we can contact for you?"

The girl didn't answer, drawing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them.

Olivia decided to treat her more like a younger victim, since she seemed more like twelve than sixteen. She sat down on the bed facing Anna, and the girl didn't flinch. "You have pretty eyes," she said. "I hate to see them so sad."

Anna stared straight ahead, but her face seemed to soften just a bit. Olivia said, "There must be something really upsetting you, to do something like this." She put a hand out and barely touched Anna's bandaged wrist.

Anna looked down at where Olivia's fingers had made contact, and brushed a tear away. "Yeah," she said, sniffling. She spoke, her voice barely audible. "I really needed my counselor yesterday, and she wasn't there for me."

"She?" said Olivia. "So your counselor is a woman?"

Anna nodded.

"So there was something bothering you, and you went to see her. What was bothering you?"

Anna clammed up again. Olivia continually tried to make eye contact, but the girl avoided it persistently.

Olivia tried a different approach. "What happened with your counselor?"

Anna turned her head the slightest bit toward Olivia and said, "I told Monica how bad I felt, that I was in a bad place, and she told me she was going to refer me to someone else."

The statement confused Olivia. Why would a trained counselor refuse to see a young girl like this in her worst time of need? "That must have really hurt," she said.

Anna nodded, and her face scrunched up as she started to cry. She glanced up at Olivia, who had her eyes trained on the girl's face, conveying a silent message to her that she was safe. To Olivia's surprise, the girl leaned in to her, and Olivia put her arms around her and held her while she cried let loose an emotional torrent into Olivia's chest. "Hey, it's okay," Olivia said soothingly.

When Anna took a break from crying, Olivia tried talking to her again. "So what happened after Monica told you that?"

Anna stayed where she was, snuggled in Olivia's arms, and mumbled through her tears, "Then I ran out, and I went home, and I got out a razor, and I . . . cut myself." She pulled away now, wiping her cheeks. Olivia leaned over and got a box of tissues off the table and offered one to Anna.

Olivia knew there had to be more to the story. This little girl wasn't _this_ disturbed over the sole fact that a counselor rejected her. There must have been serious problems leading up to this point for her to take it to the extreme, but Olivia stayed with the line of questioning. "You cut your wrists," she said.

Anna nodded. She held out her arms, wrists up, as if she could see the damage she had done. Then she said, her eyes in a blank stare, voice in a monotone, "Yeah, and down there too."

Hairs stood up on the back of Olivia's neck. "Down where?" she said.

Anna pulled her covers off without hesitation, and pulled up her hospital gown. She folded down the edge of her underwear just to the line of pubic hairs, revealing slash marks from a razor. Olivia leaned in to get a closer look, and tried not to recoil as she noticed that the marks were at various angles, and formed the word "BITCH."


	3. Chapter 3

_**Author's comments: **__Leave it to Liv to break the rules. Tee hee. I love that about her. _

_Oh, and I probably should have put a trigger warning in that last chapter. I'm sorry if I offended anyone. I forget that there are conventions when it comes to discussing SI. _

**I Wanna Dance Without You**

Chapter Three

Part 1.

Olivia's mouth dropped open, but she tried not to look too horrified after she saw the hash marks on Anna's skin. "Did you do this?" she said, meeting Anna's vacant gaze.

A slight grin flashed over the girl's lips, as if secretly proud. "Yeah," she said.

"Oh, Honey," said Olivia. "You've got to let someone look at this, so it doesn't get infected."

"No, it's okay," said the girl quietly.

Olivia readied herself to persuade Anna, but a knock on the door interrupted her. Anna quickly covered herself up. Olivia turned her head to see Elliot. "Anna's mom's here," he said. "I'm going to see if she will talk to me."

He disappeared again, and Olivia turned back to see Anna's face white, her eyes wide. "No," she said, "I don't want her to know! Please don't tell her . . ."

"Honey, we have to, she's your mom," said Olivia. Anna got quiet. Following a growing suspicion, Olivia asked, "Is somebody hurting you?"

Anna shook her head, crying.

Part 2.

Elliot stood in the hallway, trying to calm Anna's inconsolable mother, a leggy brunette in her mid-forties. Elliot was no fashion expert, but he guessed by her stylish clothes and expensive jewelry that she wasn't flipping burgers at McDonald's. "Why can't I go in and see her?" the woman said, a tremor creeping into her voice as she tried not to break into tears. "I want to see my daughter. Is she okay?"

"She's fine, Ma'am, you can see her in just a minute," said Elliot, in his most reassuring voice. "We just need to ask her a few questions."

Elliot put his hand to her arm and gently guided her away from the door. "Can I talk to you, while we're waiting?"

The woman cast furious glances at the door, but allowed him to steer her down the hallway. "Now what is your name?"

"I'm Jenny Matthews," she said.

"Okay, Ms. Matthews," Elliot said gently.

"Mrs.—"

"Mrs. Matthews, can you tell me why you didn't know she was missing?"

"I thought she was in school," said Jenny, her tone incensed.

"Okay," said Elliot. "When was the last time you saw her?"

"This morning, when she was getting ready." Jenny flashed looks down the hallway every few seconds at Anna's room. "What happened?"

"Did you know she was seeing her counselor today?" said Elliot.

"Counselor?" Jenny said, her eyebrows lowered. "She doesn't have a counselor."

"Maybe she saw the school counselor?"

"I don't know," said Jenny, sounding irritated. "If she did, nobody told me."

Elliot looked away for a second, trying to piece all the information together. "Do you know what happened today?"

Jenny shook her head and said, "I just got a call at work, saying that she was here at the hospital. . ."

Elliot said as mildly as he could, "Anna tried to cut her wrists."

"What? No, she didn't." Jenny began to shake her head furiously, and then she started to pace, putting a hand to her forehead. "That's not my Anna—she would never do such a thing. It must have been an accident—"

"Mrs. Matthews—"

"I want to see her now—"

"Mrs. Matthews, we think someone may have abused your daughter."

"What? No, you're wrong." She pushed past him and said, "I want to see my daughter, or I am going to call an attorney."

Elliot wrinkled his forehead as he watched her storm towards her daughter's room.

Part 3.

Olivia was making no progress with Anna, who would barely speak now that she knew her mother was here. "Anna, if somebody hurt you, I need to know, so I can keep it from happening again," said Olivia.

Anna stared at the door as footsteps clacked outside, dropping her head as soon as she realized who it was. Olivia turned to see Anna's fuming mother storming into the room. "Get out, now," she said to Olivia.

"But I need to—"

"No, you need to get out," the woman said, pointing a finger into her face.

"And you need to calm down," said Olivia, trying to keep her voice below a shout. Elliot appeared at the door, and Olivia decided she had better leave, or a complaint might be made about her, and she was already on thin ice for questioning a victim before being approved for work.

She turned to Anna one last time and said, "Anna, I'm going now. It was nice to meet you." She reached out a hand to Anna, with a card hidden in her palm. Anna shook her hand, and took the card without giving away their secret. Their eyes locked, and the girl silently begged her not to leave.

As Olivia reluctantly turned to walk out of the room, she heard Anna's mom's soothing voice saying, "It's okay, Anna. I'm here now." Olivia shook her head as she brushed past Elliot and out the door.

Down the hall, side-by-side with Elliot, she said, "That girl was messed up."

"Did you find out what happened?" he asked.

"Yeah. She did it to herself," staring at the floor ahead. "Used a razor to carve the word 'bitch'."

She could almost feel Elliot's heart jump. "Wow. She happen to say why?"

Olivia shook her head and sighed. "Something's causing her a lot of pain. Or someone. Did you get anything out of the mom?"

"She stonewalled as soon as I told her what happened. Apparently, she has a fantasy image of her daughter as the perfect little girl. She was way too overprotective when I mentioned abuse—she practically lawyered up right then."

"So who do you think she's protecting—the dad, maybe?"

"Or maybe she's a rage-a-holic, going off on her own daughter. Who knows? But we got no case now. So far it's all self-inflicted."

Olivia spun on her heels to face him in front of the elevator. "El," she said, her eyes meeting his. "We can't just leave it like this. That little girl is in trouble, and we've got to find from who."

"Liv," Elliot said, his tone a warning, "Captain already wanted us to drop it, there's no way he'll let us keep it now."

Biting her lip, she said, "El, I can't let this go. The next time we see her, she may be dead."

Elliot's eyes flashed away and back. "Liv," he said, "maybe you should just do what the captain wants. Just to show him you can stay objective."

Her eyes hardened, as did her mouth. She knew what he was getting at—he thought she was allowing her emotions to control her. She resented the fact that just because she had been assaulted, her every move would now be judged. "Maybe you're the one who doesn't trust my judgment."

"No, that's not what I'm saying. I just think—"  
"I'm already seeing a shrink, El," she said, her words forceful. "Don't you try running your own little psych eval on me."

"Liv," he said, holding her arm.

She stepped onto the elevator, yanking her arm out of his grasp. Too angry to listen, she was determined to make him ride back in silence. Consumed with worry over Anna, she decided to do whatever it would take to rescue her.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Author's comments: **__Happy 4__th__! No, there is no time off from writing. It's a compulsion for me—I get jittery and begin to have headaches if I go a day without it. I'm looking into Writer's Anonymous, but until I find a meeting in my area, I'm going to keep doing it._

_ Speaking of addictions—all you people want is more of those steamy E/O moments, lol. Have patience, I won't disappoint you. _

**I Wanna Dance Without You**

Chapter Four

Part 1.

"Liv, my office," shouted Captain Cragan, and she shot a glance at Elliot before trudging into the dark room, feeling like a kid being sent to the see the principal.

No sooner had she shut the door before he started in on her. "What the _hell_ were you thinking?"

She looked down at the floor and away, arms folded. "Captain, I'm sorry. She was going to be sent to the psych ward, and we'd have to wade through red tape—"

"No excuse," he snapped.

"Captain, I had to get to her before her assailant did—"

"Goddammit, Olivia, what do you not understand about following directions?" He was leaning into her so that his face was only inches away, and the walls began to spin uncomfortably and she struggled to catch her breath. She had to remind herself that this was only the captain, and she began to regain her bearings. She inhaled deeply and closed her eyes.

Cragan must not have known how much his actions were triggering her, because he said, "Now I should kick your ass out of here for good. Get in there and see Huang, _now_, before I decide not to give you another chance."

Forcing her muscles to unclench, she moved her feet in the direction of the door and said, "Yes, Sir."

Part 2.

"You been having any flashbacks?" said George, his voice a soothing contrast to Cragan's harsh admonishment.

"No," she said, feeling no remorse for lying about the one she almost had in the captain's office. The truth was, she had them more often than she cared to count, but she had tired long ago of recounting them to Huang. The retellings had become repetitive and lacked any emotion, so she didn't see what purpose they would serve, except to remind herself that she still relived her own suffering on a daily basis.

"Still having bad dreams?"

"Yeah, but that's normal, isn't it?"

George steepled his fingers instead of answering. "Do you like having your gun near you at all times?"

"Yeah, but I always have," she said, shifting in her seat. "George, I have a question for you. Why might a teenage girl cut herself in her genital area?"

George paused, as if debating whether to allow her to change the subject. He leaned back, saying, "Well, you know, more than fifty percent of people who self-injure have been abused as children, most of them sexually."

Olivia pursed her lips. "That's what I thought," she said.

"Olivia," said George, "who are we talking about?"

She put her hand on her chin, trying to decide how much to tell him. "It's a case I may be working on." George stared at her without saying a word, and Olivia said, "I, uh . . . talked to her today. Suicide attempt."

"I'm listening," he said.

Olivia sighed, relieved that he wasn't giving her a lecture. "She was tight as a drum, but as soon as she trusted me, all of a sudden I was her best friend."

"So did she say why she tried to kill herself?"

"Yeah. Said her counselor sent her away."

George shook his head, his face stern. "You need to be careful, Liv."

Her eyes locked on to his. "What do you mean?"

"It sounds like she has borderline personality disorder. Self-injury and suicidal tendencies are big indicators." He leaned forward. "Plus, it would explain why her counselor doesn't want to see her anymore. People with the disorder tend to display push-pull behavior—they are super afraid of abandonment, so they cling to anyone who shows the slightest interest in them, and then they try to get attention when they sense rejection by hurting themselves. Their actions cause the object of their affection to either want to rescue them, or be repelled and pull away, repeating the cycle."

Olivia's mouth dropped open. "So you're saying she's manipulative?"

George shook his head. "No, she probably doesn't mean to manipulate. She really feels that much pain. But she wants attention, too—someone to help her take the pain away. But it's really hard on counselors who treat people with the disorder, and many of them end up referring their patients out."

Olivia stayed silent while her mind raced. "And you think that I am the next object of her affection."

"Yeah," said George. His eyes burned into her, and he said, "It's a nerve-wracking dance, Olivia, and I don't know if you're ready for the intensity of an interaction like that."

Olivia met his gaze, unflinching. "So what am I supposed to do, let her kill herself? Someone has to help her—"

"Liv—"

"If I'm the one person who can reach her, then I have to do whatever I can, within my power."

"Which won't be much, if you're not psychologically healthy enough."

She stood, wanting to curse at him and walk out for threatening to block her efforts. But she knew that would only prevent George from giving her a clean bill of health. So instead, she paced, and said, "Okay, so what do you need to know to get me back to work?"

He followed her with his eyes and said, "Just finish answering my questions. And be honest, or you may find yourself in over your head."

Part 3.

Elliot raised his head from his paperwork and watched as Olivia crossed the room, heading in the direction of the locker room. Apparently she was still mad at him, because she didn't even turn her head to see what he was doing. He got up and followed her into the locker room, standing in the doorway while she went to her old locker and opened it. "So?" he said. "What did Huang say?"

She stood still, staring into her locker, which was now empty. "Well at least they didn't let anyone else have it," she said.

He went and stood next to her. "Hey, are you going to talk to me now?"

Her eyes softened as she turned her head in his direction. "I'm sorry, El." She sat down on the bench, and he sat next to her. "I want so bad to come back so I can help this girl. I just wish I wasn't under the microscope."

Elliot took a chance and put his arm around her shoulder, knowing she could easily snap it in half if she became irritated at him again. He fought an urge to smile, admiring her fighting spirit. "So, do _you _feel like you can handle coming back?"

She leaned into him so subtly that if anyone was watching, they wouldn't have noticed it. But to him, it meant she was ready to yield a little and open up. "Yeah," she said. "But I'm not the most objective person to ask."

"You should listen to your gut," he said, watching the corners of her lips curl up slightly. "And if you think you can do it, I have faith in you."

She began to turn her face toward him, and then hesitated. Decisiveness took over her eyes, and she raised them to look into his. She opened her mouth to say something, and instead, leaned her head in, melding her lips to his. He had not expected this, but he could not force himself to pull away either. He gave in and sunk his lips and tongue into the kiss, breathing in her salty softness.

He found her blend of spongy flesh and edgy intensity irresistible, and deepened his grip on her shoulder, throwing his other hand around her to caress her back. She must have enjoyed the move, because she let out a short, huffing moan and leaned into him even more, her breasts pressing into his chest.

The sound of a clearing throat jolted them out of their embrace, and their bodies flew apart like the same pole of two magnets. Elliot looked up with wide eyes to find Amanda standing at the door, her eyes bulging more than his own. "Should I . . . go tell Nick that his partner's back?" she said. "Because he's out there. Just got back from court."

Olivia cleared her own throat now, and said, "Um . . . yeah. Thanks, Amanda." As Amanda began to turn around, Olivia said, "Oh, and . . ."

Amanda studied the pair of them with a smirk and said, "Don't worry, your secret's safe with me."


	5. Chapter 5

_**Author's comments: **__Yes, I do love Nick too, and he's been sorely neglected in my stories. So here he comes._

**I Wanna Dance Without You**

Chapter Five

Part 1.

Nick looked up from his desk as Olivia and Elliot emerged from their make-out session in the locker room, but his face told Olivia that he knew nothing of the tryst. "Hey," he said, "I guess we're partners again."

Olivia tilted her head to the side, having yet to be informed of her approval to go back to work. "I'm reinstated?" she said.

"It's official," said Nick, smiling. "Captain just told me."

She half-smiled and nodded, glancing at Elliot to see his reaction. He shuffled through some papers, straight-faced. Olivia's phone rang. "Benson," she said, relieved to have a reason to use her "official" greeting again.

"Olivia?"

She immediately recognized the timid voice on the other line. "Anna," she said. "What can I do for you?"

The girl hesitated, and then said, "I need to talk to you."

"Yeah?" said Olivia, keeping her voice soft. "Go ahead."

"Can . . . can you come down here? I'm in the psych ward."

Olivia wanted to jump at the girl's request, but she remembered what George had told her about Anna's manipulative tendencies. "What do you need to talk about, Anna?" she said, her tone still soothing.

"You asked if someone hurt me, and . . . I'm just not sure."

That was all Olivia needed to hear. "I'll be down there in a few minutes," she said. She hung up the phone and said to Nick and Elliot, "That was Anna. She might have something new to tell me."

Nick and Elliot shot looks at one another, trying to appear casual about the awkwardness lingering in the room. Nick spoke first. "It's your case, Elliot. You started it."

Olivia eyed Nick and said, "The captain partnered us up, Nick. That means it's yours now."

Elliot lowered his eyebrows at Olivia, but looked at Nick and said, "I really wasn't too involved in it. The mom hates me anyway. You can have it."

He turned away then, and Olivia couldn't help but think that his movement was a little too abrupt. She decided to let it go, though, and see how he acted towards her later.

"Let's go see Anna," she said.

Part 2.

On the way to the patrol car, a construction worker in the street caught Olivia's eye. The guy was slinging a sledgehammer, whaling on a stubborn piece of concrete. Memories of Lewis slamming a baseball bat into Cassidy's head caused Olivia to clench her eyes shut, inhaling the smell of asphalt into her lungs. She climbed into the car and stared straight ahead, trying to focus on anything but the disturbing images of Brian's desperate face being smashed like silly putty.

"Olivia, you okay?" said Nick.

But all she heard was her own voice in her head, screaming for Lewis to stop, for the life of her lover not to end in front of her own eyes. "Olivia," he repeated.

"Huh?" she said, snapping back into the present.

"You okay?" he asked, his eyes concerned.

"Yeah . . . yeah, I'm fine," she said, shaking off residual tremors.

"You wanna talk about it?" Nick asked while starting the car.

"Nothing to talk about," she said.

"Liv," he said, staring ahead at the road as he pulled out into traffic. "You know, you can trust me. I'm not going to rat you out if you're still having issues."

"Issues?" she said, her voice tense. "It's none of your business, Nick."

His lips tightened, but he didn't say a word. Olivia sighed, realizing that she needed to stop pushing away the people who were trying to support her. If anything had helped her make it through the past few months, it was the people from work who had been there for her without smothering her in the process. "I'm sorry, Nick," she said.

"It's okay," he said, still sounding a little hurt. "I'm just trying to help."

"I know," she said, her voice just above a whisper. Her stomach clenched as she decided to let him in on her inner hell, saying, "I still have flashbacks."

His face softened as he said, "I'm sorry, Liv."

"It's okay," she said, her voice quiet. "Some are just feelings of anxiety in my body, but others . . ." She shook her head. "The worst is when I remember what he did to Brian."

She turned her head to look out the window, not wanting him to see the tears building in her eyes. "You really miss him, don't you?" he said.

"Yeah." But what she really missed was being able to save him from such a horrific death, having to watch him suffer until the life drained out of his terrified body.

Part 3.

"I'm going to make some phone calls and see if I can dig up a little more about this family while you're in there," Nick said while they were waiting to be cleared to see Anna.

In a private room, Anna shuffled in carrying a small notebook, her face brightening upon seeing Olivia. "Hey," she said, trying to hide her excitement.

"Hi, Anna," said Olivia. "You have something you want to tell me?"

Anna sat down across from her, setting down the notebook and leaning her bandaged arms on the table. "Yeah," she said, shaking her head. "I'm just not sure—there's some things that have gone on between me and my counselor, and I don't know if she's been . . . appropriate with me."

"Who's your counselor?" Olivia said.

"I, um . . . I don't want to get her into trouble."

"Well," Olivia said, leaning forward to show her interest. "You want to tell me what happened between you and her then?"

"I don't know," said Anna, lowering her eyes. "I think maybe she got a little too close."

"Why's that?"

"Because, I have a new therapist here, and she says that my counselor was too involved."

Olivia lowered her eyebrows, unsure where this was going. "Too involved how?"

Anna played with her own fingers. "Like, sharing too much about herself and stuff. Making herself available to me at all times. Acting like we were friends."

Olivia began to wonder if she was making any progress, so she tried to pin Anna down, saying, "Anna, did she touch you inappropriately?"

The question apparently struck a nerve with Anna, who began to cry. "I don't know," she said.

"How did she touch you? Where?" Olivia said, trying not to become impatient.

Anna just shook her head. "I don't want to say," she said. "I love her—I don't want to get her in trouble."

Olivia sighed. "Then I can't help you," she said, starting to stand.

"No!" Anna said, her eyes growing wide. "Don't go. Can I show you my drawings?"

Olivia settled back into her seat. "Yeah," she said. "I would like that."

Anna slid the notebook to Olivia, who opened it up and began to look at the pictures drawn in charcoal and pastels. "Wow, these are really good, Anna," she said genuinely. She had to admit the girl had talent.

"Thanks," Anna said, shrugging.

Most of them were profiles of people, her mother appearing as a recurrent figure. The last few were almost exclusively of one woman in various poses. Toward the end, they became more and more sexually suggestive, until the last one, which portrayed Anna and the woman kissing. "Is this your counselor, Anna?"

"Yeah, that's her," said Anna, an adoring smile appearing on her lips.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Author's comments: **__Ready for some serious investigative work? Then we can get to the more juicy stuff—hang on, gotta build it up first. Hang out 'til the end of this chapter for some E/O shippy drama shit._

_ I'm publishing this one early today—got things to do tonight, ya know?_

**I Wanna Dance Without You**

Chapter Six

Part 1.

Anna wouldn't say anything else about her counselor, and she wouldn't tell Olivia the woman's name. Olivia decided to find out the information the hard way. As she got ready to leave, Anna cast a longing gaze at her and said, "Olivia, can I have a hug?"

Olivia smiled and said, "Sure." She came around the table and embraced the girl, who clung to her a little longer than Olivia had expected.

Outside, Nick met her with new information. He gave her a full report on the way out. "Anna's parents are Jenny and Drew Matthews, who have been married for eighteen years. Anna is their only daughter. The mom stays at home, working occasionally as an interior designer when she feels like it, and dad's gone for months at a time. He works as a venture capitalist, and travels overseas a lot."

"Did you find out about her school?"

"Yeah, she was home-schooled until high school. Now she goes to public school at York Prep."

"Okay, let's hit the school. Maybe the school counselor can shed light on who her therapist was."

Part 2.

"Oh, yeah, Anna Matthews. I know her well," said the school counselor, a middle-age pudgy woman with a sarcastic tone.

"What can you tell us about her?" said Nick.

"Not much without a warrant," she said. "But off the record, the girl's got serious problems."

"Yeah, we've figured that much out," said Olivia. "What kind of issues did she have at school?"

"First of all, she didn't fit in with the other kids, that's for sure. But that can be said of a lot of shy kids this age, and her homeschooling didn't help with her ability to socialize, I'm sure. Don't get me wrong, lots of kids are homeschooled with no adverse effects on their schooling, but socialization has to be a part of it, and I don't think she had much interaction with other kids before she came here."

"Okay, what else?" said Olivia, cocking her head to the side.

The counselor cast a glance out the door to make sure nobody was close by, and then shut the door. "Okay, I shouldn't be telling you this, but I'm worried about Anna. When she came here, she was in my office a lot. I mean every day. She practically latched on to me. I tried to encourage her to hang out with other kids her age, and she finally did make a friend—a girl named Alisha. But she and Alisha were caught in the bathroom one day, in the middle of some pretty grown-up acts, if you know what I mean."

Olivia's mouth dropped open, but Nick said, "Yeah, but isn't that pretty normal stuff, for kids to experiment at that age? Especially in this day and age."

The counselor's lips tightened and she said, "I'm talking _really _grown-up stuff. And when I questioned Alisha, she said she hadn't really wanted to do it, but Anna had really pushed her to, and then showed her what to do."

"Like, what kind of stuff?" said Olivia.

The woman shook her head. "I'm afraid I've said more than I should already. I really don't want to violate Anna's rights more than I already have. I just want her to get help. That's why I referred her to another counselor—one who could work with her on a more intensive basis."

"Who's the counselor?" said Nick.

"Susan Grace."

Part 3.

"Susan Grace—NYPD, we need to talk to you," said Olivia, almost in a warning. "It's about Anna Matthews."

It took the mention of Anna's name for the wispy brunette to look up from her desk in the one-room office. Susan sighed, saying, "Oh, man, what happened?"

"I don't know. We were going to ask you the same thing," said Olivia, looking down at the woman, head tilted. "Because she said you were inappropriate."

"What?" she said, eyes squinting. She stood and turned to face the window. "Oh my god. This is why I referred her out."

"What, so you could cover it up?" said Olivia, her volume rising with every word.

"What? No!" the woman said, turning to face them now. "I would never!"

"Yeah?" said Nick. "So you better start telling us what did happen, then."

"She's my client—do you really expect me to violate the privilege between us?"

"The privilege between therapist and client doesn't apply when the therapist is committing abuse," shouted Olivia.

The woman's face had horror plastered across it, and Olivia began to think maybe she was telling the truth. But Olivia would never let her know that, in case the woman was just a clever psychopath. "I really tried to help her," said Susan, her voice filled with melancholy, "but I got in over my head. She had . . . issues, in school, but I just thought she was depressed and confused about her sexuality. As soon as I started to sympathize with her, she got attached to me, and I really did care for her. But then she started calling me at all times of the day, and doing things to manipulate, and it wasn't until we had a good working relationship that I realized she had deeper problems."

"So what happened between you two in the end?" said Nick.

"She came in one day crying, and I felt so bad for her that I came over to her and put my arm around her . . . something I should have never done. But then she tried to kiss me, and I pulled away in shock, and she got upset and threatened to kill herself."

Knots formed in Olivia's stomach as she realized that Susan was probably telling the truth. Everything she had said so far fit with what Huang had told her to expect. Her phone buzzed in her pocket, and she turned away to answer it.

"Olivia?" said Anna's voice.

"Anna?" said Olivia.

"Hey, I just wanted to hear your voice," said Anna.

She glanced at Susan to see the woman smirking, a look of warning on her face.

Part 4.

Olivia sat across the table from Elliot in silence, picking at her fried rice. Elliot glanced up at her, but then shoveled beef and noodles into his mouth without saying anything. "So," he finally said, mouth full. "What happened with Anna today?"

Olivia shook her head. "She tried to finger her therapist, but the therapist says Anna came onto her."

"You believe her?"

"Yeah," said Olivia. "It seems like Anna has a history of doing this kind of thing."

"So, no case," said Elliot, raising his eyes to see hers.

"No, but I have a feeling there's more to this story," she said, taking in a mouthful of chicken. "What does a girl do these kinds of things? She must have some serious problems going on at home."

"Maybe she's just neglected," said Elliot. "Dad's gone all the time, mom's doing who-knows-what during her free time. Maybe she was used to having one on one attention when she was home-schooled, and she misses it."

"Maybe," said Olivia, shrugging.

"There's nothing you can really do about it, though, unless something else turns up."

"Oh, I'm not giving up just yet," said Olivia.

"Liv—"

The phone interrupted. Olivia looked at the display. "It's Anna," she said. "She's called me five times today. I'm letting it go to voicemail—she has to learn that I'm not available every minute of the day."

"Liv," Elliot said, "Maybe you shouldn't get so involved with this case. Let it drop, see if anything new develops."

"What, and wait for her to turn up dead next time?" she said, irritation creeping into her voice. "Something bad's happening to her, and I need to find out what."

"Liv," Elliot said, scooting back and setting his napkin on his plate. "I just think you should take it easy, not get too emotionally involved. Whether you want to admit it or not, you're not one-hundred percent yet."

She bristled, looking up from the table at him. "I think you should let me decide that," she said.

He threw his hands up. "Okay. I'm just trying to give you my objective opinion, looking at it from the outside. You're already letting this girl get under your skin, and I don't think it could be good for you after what happened."

Olivia sighed. She was too tired to argue with him, and he had a point anyway. "I think I can handle it, El," she said. "I know you're worried about me, and I realize I still have yet to fully get over what happened. I'll be careful."

"Okay, that's all I'm asking," said Elliot, his tone softer.

"And I guess she does touch a nerve a little bit. After losing Brian in such a horrific way, I don't want to see anybody else self-destruct in front of me." He nodded, listening intently. She brought the last forkful of rice to her mouth. "Like I told Nick today, the hardest part was watching Brian being killed."

He didn't say anything, and she looked up to see his arms folded, squinting at her. "You talked to Nick about it."

"Yeah," she said, a her stomach knotting as she realized he was angry. "Is that a problem?"

"It wouldn't be," he said. "Except that you have yet to tell me a word of what's going on with you. But you open up to Nick?"

"I'm telling you now," she said, sitting up straight.

"Well that's just great," he said, standing so that he could pace. "I've been at your side every free minute, supporting you, helping you get better. It would be nice if you'd talk to me, instead of holing up and waiting for . . . someone else."

She stood now too, jutting her chin. "I didn't know I needed permission from you," she said.

"Permission?" he said, his volume rising. "All I'm asking for is a little respect, and a little trust."

"I trust you, Elliot," she said, fighting the urge to cut loose on him. "I just don't want you trying to keep me from doing my job, like an overprotective dad."

She saw that the words stung him, and she knew instantly that she had said the wrong thing. If there was one subject he was sensitive about, it was his ability to parent. He stopped pacing to look her right in the eye, and said, "I don't think what I'm asking for is anything a normal couple doesn't have. If you think that's me being overprotective, or controlling, I guess you're free to go be your own person. But don't expect me to just take care of you without getting any of the benefits of having a close relationship."

They stared each other down before she said, "How dare you tell me how to be a good partner."

A sneer passed over his lips, and he said, "At least I know what it takes. Which one of us has been in a longer relationship?"

She frowned back at him. "Yeah, and we all know how that one turned out." Before he had a chance to kick her out of his apartment, she picked up her jacket and stormed out, slamming the door on her way.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Author's comments: **__If it feels like a real episode, that's what it's meant to be. Which means this one's not going to drag on as long as the last story. But stay tuned for some shocking moments, and then some tasty rewards._

**I Wanna Dance Without You**

Chapter Seven

Part 1.

Olivia rolled over in the dark, trying to get comfortable on one of the springy mattresses in the loft at the precinct. Glancing at her phone, she saw that it was a quarter after seven in the morning. She had barely slept, spending most of the night replaying the argument with Elliot in her head.

On the one hand, he had a point—she had barely shared herself with him since the attack. But the Lewis had committed acts so atrocious that she just now felt comfortable sharing with anyone else, and Nick had just happened to be with her during a flashback. She could see how Elliot might misinterpret her actions.

But she was used to being on her own, and she didn't want anyone trying to tell her when she was needed to back off a case, not even Elliot. She knew she was onto something with Anna, and she wasn't giving up until she got more answers.

Just as she began debating whether or not she was still too pissed to call Elliot and apologize, her phone rang, startling her. The caller ID read only "Unknown," but she knew that it was Anna.

Clearing her throat and rubbing sleep from her eyes, she answered the phone. Anna didn't speak at first, but then she said in a monotone, "Olivia, you never called me back last night."

"I know," said Olivia, trying to keep sarcasm out of her voice. "I had other things going on last night."

"I . . . I know you can't be there for me all the time," said Anna, "but I really needed you last night. I, um . . . I felt like hurting myself."

Olivia sighed. "But you're in the hospital, Sweetie, so you're safe."

"No, I'm not," said Anna. Olivia sat up in bed. "My mom got me a different psychologist, and he released me early."

"When?" said Olivia, rubbing her forehead. She refrained from telling Anna how she really felt, which was that her mother was a piece of crap and should be locked up for neglect.

"Last night."

"Well, do you still feel like hurting yourself?" said Olivia.

"I already have."

Olivia snapped to attention, and said, "Where are you?"

"Outside your apartment. I went there just now looking for you, and Detective Stabler said he didn't know where you were."

Olivia's mouth dropped open. "How do you know where I—nevermind." Her phone beeped, indicating she had another call coming in, and she looked down to see that it was Elliot. She said to Anna, "Okay, stay right there."

She pushed a button to answer Elliot's call. Without waiting for him to answer, she said, "Why did you let her go?"

"I tried to get her to stay—she ran away," he said.

She sighed. "I'm coming over."

Part 2.

Anna stood shivering in the entrance to Elliot's apartment building, wearing only a shirt and pants, with no shoes or coat. "Anna, let's get you inside," said Olivia, guiding the girl by her arm.

Anna stopped when she got into the building. "I don't want to go up there," she said, her eyes meeting Olivia's. "Elliot."

"It's okay, Anna, he won't hurt you. Plus, I'll make sure he gives us privacy."

Apparently convinced by Olivia's reassurances, Anna continued on. Olivia unlocked the door to find Elliot waiting on the other side. They exchanged glances, and Olivia looked at Anna to see the girl trembling, her eyes terrified. Olivia brushed past Elliot, pulling Anna in by her arm.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" Elliot said.

Olivia guided Anna over to Elliot's couch and said, "Have a seat, Anna. I'll be right back."

Keeping an eye on her the entire time, Olivia went with Elliot to the hallway, and Elliot leaned into her and whispered, "Why didn't you take her down to the precinct?"

"Elliot, she's got no coat, and she said she hurt herself. I have to make sure she's okay first."

Elliot sighed and rubbed his face. "You could have called a bus."

"Look," she said, her tone forceful, "I have barely built a trust with her. I can't violate that just yet."

Elliot shook his head and turned to walk away, saying, "I don't like this." Casting one last glance at Anna, he grabbed his coat and headed out the door.

Olivia sat down next to Anna. "You said you hurt yourself, Anna. What did you do?"

Anna pulled her sleeves back and held her arms out for Olivia to see. They were dotted with about a dozen round black marks, and Olivia said, "You burned yourself with cigarettes?"

Anna nodded while Olivia turned her arms over to see the same black marks on the inside of her arms, encircling the slash marks already present. Olivia gulped as she tried to force her thoughts away from Lewis stabbing lit cigarettes into her own flesh. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, trying to pull herself together so she could help Anna. Opening her eyes, she said, "We have to get these treated."

"I'm not going to the hospital," said Anna.

"That's where you need to be," said Olivia.

Anna shook her head. "My mom will just have me removed again, and she'll be pissed at me for doing this."

Olivia took one last look at Anna's downcast eyes, and went to the bathroom to retrieve some antibiotic cream and gauze bandages. She carefully slathered the cream over the burns, and wrapped the bandages around Anna's arms, while the girl watched with glazed eyes. When she was finished, Olivia looked into the girl's eyes and said, "Anna, what's going on with you? Is there something happening at home that I should know about?"

Anna shook her head weakly. Olivia said, "Is your father hurting you?"

"No," said Anna.

"Is he touching you?"

"No," she said, lowering her eyebrows.

"Your mom—is she hurting you, or out of control?"

"No," said Anna, raising her eyes to meet Olivia. "And I don't want to talk about this anymore."

Olivia grabbed the girl's hands and held them in hers. "Anna," she said. "I can't help you if you don't talk to me."

Anna looked deeply into her eyes, but didn't say a word. She began to lean forward and close her eyes, and before Olivia realized what was happening, the girl put her lips to Olivia's. Recoiling, Olivia pulled back instantly and held out a hand to hold Anna away.

Anna sat up straight and said, voice quivering, "I thought you liked me."

Olivia's mouth dropped open in shock, and she said, "I do, but not like that, Anna."

Anna stood and began to pace, and Olivia stood as well, afraid the girl would run. Remembering that Anna had a huge fear of rejection, she said, "Anna, it's okay. I still want to help you."

Anna's pacing quickened while Olivia's thoughts raced. An epiphany struck her, and she realized what she had been missing. "Anna, let's go down to the station," she said. "I want to talk to you there."


	8. Chapter 8

_**Author's comments: **__Starting to get good now…___

**I Wanna Dance Without You**

Chapter Eight

Part 1.

Anna sulked the entire way back to the precinct. Once there, they passed by Elliot, who didn't even look up, and Olivia escorted Anna to an interrogation room. "Stay here for a minute," she said, "I'll be right back."

Nick approached her with a questioning look. "Keep an eye on her, will you?" she said. He started to protest, but she said, "I'll explain later."

She sought out Huang, and found him pouring a cup of coffee. "Hey, I need to talk to you," she said. "It's about my victim with borderline personality disorder."

They scooted into an empty room, and she said, "I think her mother is abusing her." She filled him in on the details of the case, and said, "Everything she's done has been with females. She's afraid of men, but it's probably because her father is gone so much that she sees him as scary. Her mother is more familiar."

George nodded. "It makes sense," he said.

"But I still can't get her to open up about the abuse," she said.

"She may be too ashamed," said George, and then his eyes lit up. "But she could also not even be aware that the abuse was wrong. If it started at an early age, it might seem normal to her."

"Which is why she never realized that her own actions were inappropriate," said Olivia. "Everything she did was just an extension of what her mother did to her."

George nodded. "She has no idea what a normal, loving relationship looks like."

Olivia quickly shifted from relief at figuring out the problem to anger at Anna's mother. She shook her head and sighed. "Olivia," George said, "you still need to be very careful with her."

"I know," she said. "She's already burned herself because I didn't call her back last night."

George folded his arms and nodded. "That's exactly what I'm talking about. Typically, therapists who treat borderline patients have an agreement worked out where they won't talk to their clients for a day after they self-injure, to take away their motivation to do so. You've already fed into her impulses by spending more time with her."

Olivia squinted her eyes at him. "Are you saying it's my fault she's doing this?"

"No," he said stoically, "I'm just saying, be careful how you proceed from here."

Part 2.

Olivia stood next to Nick and watched through the window to see Anna hunched over the desk in the interrogation room. "Why'd you put her in there?" he asked.

"Because there's nothing in there that she can use to hurt herself," Olivia said.

Nick nodded. "Wish me luck," she said.

Olivia entered the room, and Anna didn't look up. Seating herself across the table so that Anna couldn't make any unexpected moves, she said, "Anna, I know something's going on at home, and I know your mother is involved."

Anna shook her head vigorously. "No, you're wrong. My mom is controlling, but she's a good mom. She takes care of me."

Olivia maintained her cool, and kept her voice gentle. "No good parent touches their child that way."

Anna didn't say anything, but tears started to form in her eyes. Olivia was about to try and coax her again when the girl said, "She's . . . only trying to take care of me."

"How, Anna?" said Olivia, on the edge of her seat with the prospect of a breakthrough. "What does she do to take care of you?"

One tear began to roll down Anna's cheek, and she sucked in her lips before saying, "I used to get a lot of infections . . . down there, when I was little."

"How old?"

Olivia kept her eyes trained on Anna's face, and Anna kept staring down at her hands. "I don't know. Six or seven, maybe. But all she did was put some medicine on me."

The girl stopped, but Olivia knew there was more. "Okay, and what else?"

Anna shook her head, and said, "She saw that I liked it, so sometimes she . . . she kept on."

Olivia nodded. She maintained her composure, but inside, her chest tightened at the thought of someone doing that to their own daughter. "Did she do anything besides touch you?" she asked.

Anna's eyes glazed over and she said, "Yeah. She used her tongue sometimes, and she said that was so she could get me clean. We took baths together. We played a game called bumper cars, where she would rub against me."

Olivia took a silent breath and tried hard not to show a reaction. Hairs stood up on her arms and neck where goosebumps began to form. Anna continued on, even though Olivia wished it was over. "When I got older, she started to stick something inside me. I don't even know what it is. That was the only time it ever hurt, but just at first. Then I got used to it, and it doesn't hurt anymore."

"She still does all this?" Olivia said, keeping her outrage out of her voice.

"Yeah."

"How often?"

"Every day," Anna said, her gaze straight ahead.

"Anna, when was the last time?" Olivia said.

"Yesterday, after I got home," Anna said, looking up at Olivia, tears starting to wet her face. "But it's okay, right? Because I liked it—she never hurt me."

Olivia's heart began to race as she realized the implications of what Anna had just told her. "Have you showered or bathed since yesterday?"

"No," said Anna.

"Okay, we're going to take a trip to the hospital," Olivia said. There was still time to do a rape kit and collect evidence, one bright spot in this horrific chain of events.

Part 2.

After the hospital, Olivia brought Anna back to the station, heaving a sigh of relief to find Anna's mother chewing out Captain Cragan. Now she wouldn't even have to go find Jenny to collar her.

The woman turned to see her daughter with Olivia, and stormed over to greet them, saying, "What on earth are you doing with my little girl?"

Olivia slipped beside her, holding her arm, and said, "Jenny Matthews, you're under arrest."

Anna didn't say a word, just stared with an open mouth as Olivia began to guide her mother away. As she read Jenny her rights, the woman interrupted her, saying, "How dare you! You can't arrest me! I've done nothing wrong."

Olivia said to Nick before escorting Jenny into the interrogation room, "Watch Anna carefully."

She knew Captain Cragan would be watching, which was a good thing, because Olivia wanted to let loose the worst of her wrath on this despicable woman, but the captain's presence would cause her to exercise restraint.

Jenny chose to pace the room instead of sitting. Olivia stood with her back against the wall, arms folded, watching the woman. "When I can I see Anna?" she said, stopping long enough to glare at Olivia.

"Never," said Olivia, voice cold, "if I have my way."

Jenny looked about ready to charge at Olivia from across the room. "What in the hell do you have against me, lady?" she said.

"It's Detective Benson," said Olivia, deciding to intimidate the woman by walking towards her as she spoke her next words. "And you wanna know what I have against you? Anyone who uses a little girl for a sex toy is the most vile piece of shit there is."

"What?" The woman smirked while lowering her eyebrows, which Olivia knew was a sure sign she was guilty. "You're crazy."

"Oh, really? Crazier than touching your daughter to get her aroused, or sticking things inside her? How about using her body to get off—does that sound crazy?"

"I never did any of those things," said Jenny, turning away from Olivia. "Anna's lying."

Olivia moved to Jenny's side, shouting into her face, "You know, if you had the slightest ounce of dignity, lady, you would give that girl a fighting chance for a normal childhood. But you _stole_ that from her to appease your own perverted desires." She lowered her voice, but it still oozed contempt. "So how does it feel, knowing you ruined Anna for life? That she will always have trouble knowing the difference between sex and love?"

She paused, staring at the woman's hardened face. "So yeah," Olivia said, "I have a problem with you. And I hope you rot in hell for what you did to her."

Jenny tightened her lips and said, "I want to talk to an attorney now."


	9. Chapter 9

_**Author's comments: **__Here we go._

_ I was considering showing some mercy to poor Olivia this time. But that's not how I roll. Part 2 goes back in time a little—I like to toggle between points of view sometimes, but I haven't figured out a compelling way to do it without it being a little confusing. _

**I Wanna Dance Without You**

Chapter Nine

Part 1.

Olivia fumed as she left the interrogation room to face Captain Cragan. "Was that an interrogation or an inquisition?" he asked.

"What was I supposed to say to her, that she deserved the mom-of-the-year award?" Olivia's voice oozed sarcasm.

"You may have been more likely to get a confession that way," said Cragan.

"Ah, come on Captain, I've been way harder on perps before."

"Not without a plan, though," he said, hands on his hips.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "I guess I'll just let someone a little more emotionally stable do it next time."

"Watch yourself, Detective," Cragan said, pointing a finger at her. "I put you back on, I can take you off if I think you need more time."

Veins began to pound in her head as she fought to reign in her temper. She bit her tongue as Alex approached them, saying, "I hear you have Mommy Dearest in custody."

Olivia exhaled deeply and said, "Yeah, please tell me we can lock her up for the rest of her life."

"Wish I could," said Alex. "So far, all we have is the word of a manipulative little girl who has already falsely accused her counselor."

"That was a mistake," Olivia said.

"Maybe so," said Alex, "but it's going to look bad to the jury. Unless Warner can give us something definitive from the rape kit, we don't have a good chance of getting a conviction. I'll still try it, but . . ."

Olivia followed Alex's gaze to Cragan, who was staring past them. She looked over to see Anna standing wide-eyed, close enough to hear their conversation. The girl's attention was then drawn to the interrogation room, where her mother sat in the same chair Anna had earlier. "Olivia?" she said. "Is my mom going to jail?"

Olivia's mouth dropped open as she struggled for words. "Come with me," she said finally, putting a hand on Anna's back and guiding her into the other interrogation room.

Once she had shut the door behind them, Olivia put fingertips from both her hands together and said, "Anna, your mom might go to jail, because what she did to you was wrong."

Anna's eyebrows crowded together, and she said, "So where am I going to live? Who's going to take care of me?"

Anna's failure to defend her mother surprised Olivia, but she understood it. Jenny was a constant source of shame and hurt, and even if Anna loved her mother, she wanted to be away from the abuse. "I don't know, Anna. Possibly your dad. That will be up to the social workers."

Anna's worry lines deepened, and she said, "Can't I come live with you? I don't mind Detective Stabler—he seems okay."

Olivia cast a glance at the mirrored window, hoping nobody was listening. If anyone besides Amanda knew that she and Elliot were living together, they would probably be forced to work in different units. She turned her attention back to Anna and said, "No, Sweetie, I'm sorry but you can't. It wouldn't be good for you."

Anna's eyebrows shot up, and she said, "I wouldn't be a problem, I swear. Please, Olivia." She grabbed Olivia's arm.

Olivia tried to keep a level voice as she bargained with Anna's increasing panic. "No, Anna, it's not you. I have a busy life, and I couldn't spend the time with you that you need—"

"No, I don't need much of your time, I promise—"

"No, Anna, I can't. I can't take care of you," Olivia said, her voice rising despite her best efforts.

Anna stopped, her eyes cold. Then she said in a flat voice, "Oh, I see. I'm too much trouble for you."

"No, Anna," Olivia said, shaking her head.

"I'm a real piece of work. I'm worthless—"

"No. No, Anna, I didn't say—"

Anna's voice began to rise, until she was screaming. "I might as well just go away, because nobody wants me. You don't want me. Dad doesn't want me." Anna turned away from Olivia and began to pace, reminding Olivia of the girl's mother.

"Anna—"

"I don't want to hear it. I'm just a throw-away no good piece of shit . . ." Now she turned toward the mirrored glass and began to pound on it with her fists to the rhythm of her words ". . . I'm just a _bitch_, I'm a _bitch_—"

"Anna stop—"

Olivia reached for Anna's arms to stop her from banging on the glass, but with the last words she uttered, the girl pummeled her head violently against the glass until the entire mirror shattered, just as Olivia's arms reached around her.

The tinkling of millions of pieces of breaking glass echoed in Olivia's head as the momentum of Anna's body falling through the shards took Olivia with her. Olivia fell with her to the ground, raising an arm to her head to avoid being cut by the shiny sharp edges. After Anna landed, Olivia on top of her, it took Olivia a few seconds to look up, still in shock over the suddenness of it all.

Anna lay under her, face down, and blood mixed with slivers of mirror all around her. _'Blood from where?' _Olivia thought, heart racing. She turned Anna over, gasping when she saw a large shard buried in Anna's neck. "Anna," she exhaled. "Anna, it's okay, it's going to be okay." She put her hands around the girl's wound, not wanting to remove it lest the blood start spurting at terrifying rates.

She refused to look at the girl's eyes, refused to believe there was no chance for her survival, refused to watch as the life leaked out of them along with the precious liquid. "I need a bus!" she shouted, but Nick was already there, already trying to drag her away from Anna.

"Liv, I've got it," he said quietly. "Let go—you're hurt."

Part 2.

Elliot sat at his desk and ignored Olivia when she entered the squad room escorting a sulking Anna. He was still pissed about the words she had said to him last night, and her stubborn failure to even listen to his advice. He knew he should not have made a comment about her lack of experience with stable relationships. It was true that he had overstepped his bounds, and he knew it must have hurt. But for her to bring up his failure of a marriage was just cruel. And she always seemed to kick him right where it hurt—comparing him to an overprotective dad touched a wound that was already bleeding.

He had all night to think about it, and he was almost ready to make up with her. But then Anna had showed up at his door, asking for Olivia, and she had brought the girl into their apartment. Elliot could see that Olivia was still wounded from her experience with Lewis, and that it was affecting her ability to do her job, but she wasn't willing to look at the possibility that he might be right. It was as if his opinion didn't matter to her, and that really stung.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of showering glass, and he leaped to his feet trying to find the location of the sound. As soon as he saw the gaping hole where the giant mirror had been, he sprinted into the interrogation room to find Olivia leaning over Anna, both of them covered in blood, with Nick trying to pry Olivia away. Anna's eyes were open and glassy, and there was a lake of red around her head. He knew it was too late for her.

"She's gone, Olivia," said Nick, as he tried to pry her fingers away from the shard of glass in Anna's neck.

Olivia shook her head. "No, she's—"

"You're hurt—"

"I have to keep pressure—" she said through shallow breaths.

Elliot rushed to her other side, putting his face beside hers, and one hand on her back. "Liv—Liv, she's gone." Nick pulled away and rubbed his nose, carefully avoiding touching his bloody fingers to it.

Elliot moved in and put his hands on hers, saying, "Liv, let go."

Tears streamed down her face, and anger flashed in her eyes as she shouted, "Get away from me," staring solidly at Anna's face. "Doesn't anybody see that she needs help? Get her some help."

"Liv, it's too late," he said, his eyes pleading with her. He glanced down at Olivia's arms, both of which had huge gashes in them. "Please, let go. We need to get your arms looked at."

She backed off slowly, sobbing while her gaze rested on Anna's lifeless face. "No," she whispered, shaking her head, "someone has to help her. Someone should have helped her."

As she loosened her grip, Elliot looked up to see Captain Cragan handing him a roll of gauze, and he began to quickly wrap the gauze around one arm, and then the other. Olivia watched Anna still, chanting, "Someone help her," when Elliot began to put pressure on the wound on one arm, and Nick did the same to the other.

"Please," she said, her eyes closing, "help her." Elliot caught her as she went limp.

He looked up at Cragan and said, "Where are they? She's bleeding out."


	10. Chapter 10

_**Author's comments: **__Okay, ElektricBlue, you had a good idea and I'm gonna steal—I mean, roll with it. I had forgotten that they have the same blood type—leave it up to us fanatics to know a thing like that, lol._

_ SVU trivia—how many times has Olivia witnessed someone she cared about die right in front of her? I count six (if you consider Alex, who didn't really die but Liv thought she did), and so now with my last two stories, it makes eight.____Name the other six in the comments, if you can (not counting people who were already dead before she got there, like O'halleron)._

_ They also really need to install bullet-proof glass in these interrogation rooms, because this makes the second time someone has gone through one. Anyone else remember that episode? I don't recall the name of it. _

**I Wanna Dance Without You**

Chapter Ten

Part 1.

Paramedics finally arrived as Olivia's face began to pale and her pulse began to slow. The medics tried to push Elliot away, but he refused to leave her side, helping them hoist her onto a gurney. He allowed them full access to her, but he continued to hold her hand all the way to the ambulance.

After they loaded her in the back and gave her oxygen, she started to revive. "Liv," Elliot whispered into her ear, "Can you hear me?"

She didn't open her eyes, but she mumbled, "Elliot."

"Liv, I'm right here," he said. "Stay with me."

"El," she said, "Save him. Save Brian."

Elliot bristled at first, but then he realized that Anna dying in front of her had triggered a disturbing memory in the midst of her delusions. "It's okay, Liv," he said. "Just relax."

He kissed her hand and watched her face, but she didn't make any sounds other than an occasional moan. His chest tightened as he realized how petty their fight had been. Nothing could cause him to love her any less at this moment, and he planned on telling her that as soon as she pulled through—if she pulled through.

The medics said she had lost a lot of blood, and every second could make the difference between her lighting up his life another day and him watching her body as they lowered it into the cold ground. He could only think that if that happened, his life would shatter like the millions of tiny shards of mirror that had rained down upon her.

"Come on, Liv," he said, "You have to make it. Just stay with me."

Once they were in the hospital, medical experts elbowed Elliot away, and he watched them roll her away without him interrogation.

Part 2.

Stars whizzed by her head, and she did not even think twice about it, because the faster the earth spun below her, the deeper the serenity settled in her heart. She closed her eyes and spun with them, allowing the brilliance of their light to wash over her. Everything halted then, and a crass mechanical buzz dropped her into her own body like bricks.

The lights from the stars transformed into a wall of fluorescence flooding her vision. Hidden in the lights were faces, with sterile green masks and stern eyes. "BP is up," someone said. "She's with us."

Confused, she started to move her arms, and a woman in white scrubs smiled. Olivia could tell because crow's feet settled into corners of the woman's eyes. "It's okay, Olivia, just lie still."

Now she could feel her body, heavy and painful, lying on the hard cushion of a hospital bed, and she knew where she was. She tilted her head, using every ounce of energy she had, to see a crimson bag of liquid attached to her arm by a plastic tube. Real-life images of Brian's dying eyes lit up her brain, and she knew she was back to a bad place, although her memories jumbled like jigsaw pieces.

She squeezed her eyes tight, and Anna's frantic face pervaded the darkness behind her closed lids. '_Anna, I'm sorry_,' she thought, too tired to cry. Her lungs heaved, and it took every bit of effort to keep them going. She gave in to exhaustion and let the horrors of reality drift away.

Part 3.

A hand enfolded her fingers, and she knew instantly whose it was. Eyes closed, she fondled the fingers, their gentleness sparking her awake. Elliot jolted, and she opened her eyes just before he did. He leaned forward, rubbing sleep from his eyes. "Hey," he said softly. "You with me?"

"Yeah, Elliot," she croaked. "What's going on?"

"You're going to be okay," he said, resting a hand on her hair. "You fell into the glass with Anna and cut your arms."

"Anna," she said, choking up at the thought of her. Tears wetting her cheeks, she said, "She didn't make it, did she?"

He shook his head, saying, "I'm sorry, Liv."

She looked up at the ceiling, biting her lip in an unsuccessful attempt to bite back more tears. Wiping them away, she said, "I screwed up. George warned me, and I wasn't careful enough—"

"Hey," he said, wiping a spot on her cheek that she had missed. "Don't be so hard on yourself. It was a difficult situation all around. You did the best you could."

"Did I?" she murmured. Dizziness filled her head, making it hard to think, but she knew that Elliot had tried to warn her that she was getting too close, and she failed to listen to him. "You had it right, El—I'm still a mess from Lewis, and I wimped out and let my emotions get the best of me. I guess I shouldn't be back at work, after all, and it cost Anna's life for me to figure that out."

"Hey," he said again. "Look at me."

She turned her tearful eyes toward him, and he said, each word deliberate, "You are the strongest person I know." He kept his hand on her face, brushing his fingers lightly over her hairline. "You've been at SVU for over fourteen years. Nobody else—well, except Munch—could see the atrocious acts you witness every single day and keep going back to work the next day. Even after the things Lewis did to you, you made it through and you got better. Anyone else I've known would have lived in a cave for the rest of their life. But you can do it, Olivia, you're the best at what you do."

She shook her head, still unconvinced, and he said, "If you couldn't get through to that girl, nobody else could have. I know that. Because you have a heart of gold." He paused and said, "That's what I love about you."

Tears began to fall again, but not out of guilt this time. She wished sorrow could be swept away with words, but she knew only time would heal. "I don't know, El," she said. "I don't know if I can keep facing the darkness. It seems like people's actions just keeps getting more evil—where does it end?"

He got quiet, but he leaned in and kissed her forehead, and then pulled away, saying, "I don't know. Maybe we have to just find our way through by treasuring the hell out of the good moments."

A voice at the door turned both of their heads, saying, "Olivia, I'm so glad you're okay." She smiled when she saw it was Fin, and he pointed to Elliot and said, "Did you thank this man for saving your life?"

"What do you mean?" she said weakly.

"They needed blood for you, fast," he said, "And Elliot remembered he has your blood type." He turned to Elliot and said, "How does it feel to be a hero?"

Elliot smiled at her and said, "It was nothing. For Liv, I would give a kidney."

Beaming at him now, she said, "Come here. I'm too tired to sit up and give you a hug."


	11. Chapter 11

_**Author's comments: **__You guys are good. You got all but one. There was Sonya (of course), Alex (who I gave you), Sister Peg, Agent Cooper (the FBI agent from "Signature"), and the domestic violence victim from "Persona". The final one was kind of a trick question, because she didn't die RIGHT in front of Olivia—she was Jenna, the girl who got shot along with Sister Peg in the season 12 finale (Smoked). I didn't include people Olivia didn't give a crap about, which is why I didn't include the paramedic who raped women in the back of the ambulance, or the guy she shot in "Payback."_

_ These are all I could think of—there may be more, I don't know. _

**I Wanna Dance Without You**

Chapter Eleven

Part 1.

Olivia stood to answer the door, but Elliot said, "I'll get it," and motioned for her to sit back down. The hospital had released her three days later, her blood levels back up after surgery and the transfusion, her energy level rebounding along with it. Elliot had pampered her mercilessly, ignoring her half-hearted protests.

Alex bounded past Elliot, saying, "Olivia, I'm so glad you're okay."

"Yeah, I guess I was lucky," said Olivia, lounging in her pajamas and robe. "The doctors said the glass nicked an artery on one arm and a vein on the other, and if it had cut any deeper, I might not be here right now."

Alex sat in the chair next to Olivia, and Elliot brought in some tea he had been brewing. "I'm sorry for disturbing you at home—" Alex said.

"Not a bother, Alex," said Olivia. Elliot raised an eyebrow as he sat next to Olivia, but didn't say anything.

"I had to talk to you before they arraign Anna's mother," Alex said, "We have no more complaining witness, and nothing from the rape kit we can use so far. I wanted to see if you had any ideas how we can get more evidence against her."

Olivia sighed and shook her head. Her heart sagged thinking about Anna again. She tried to let herself off the hook, but she kept thinking about what she could have done differently. She said quietly, "Can't we use what she told me?"

"I'm going to try and get it in as a dying declaration," said Alex, "but without more physical evidence to support it, her lawyer will probably get a dismissal."

Olivia leaned forward and put her hand to her mouth. She closed her eyes, trying to concentrate. An idea flashed into her mind, and she sat up, saying, "Can we get a warrant to search Anna's house?"

"For what?" Alex said. "Did she tell you what her mother used to sodomize her?"

"No," said Olivia. "But I think I might know of something else."

Part 2.

Elliot tried to keep her from going with him to the search, but her tunnel vision prevented her from giving in to his appeals. Arms aching and bandaged, she looked through Anna's room, tossing aside stuffed animals and teen magazines until she came across a stack of Anna's drawings. She leafed through them, mostly pictures of girls and women in innocuous poses.

She came to several sketchbooks, and began to go through the drawings in them one by one. Although some of the poses were provocative, none of them amounted to anything close to evidence. She sighed, thinking she may be out of luck.

Then she spotted a sharp corner peeking out from under one of Anna's pillows, and reached over to pull out the sketch pad hidden underneath. The first few drawings were of Anna's mother in beautiful dresses, smiling next to trees in a tidy back yard. Then came close-ups of Jenny's face, with various expressions ranging from relaxed and peaceful to fuming with rage. Interspersed were a few full-body nudes, her mother posing in discrete positions. Olivia realized she was holding her breath, and she turned the page. "Oh my God," she said. "Elliot."

He joined her side, his mouth opening in shock. Olivia shook her head. "This is what I was afraid of," she said. "At least we have our evidence."

Part 3.

Lewis' trial came a month before Anna's mother's. Olivia steeled herself, shaking violently despite her best efforts. She had not seen Lewis for several months, and now he scowled at from the defense table. "What happened next, Olivia?"

Olivia didn't answer, muddled thoughts pouring into her head—visions of Anna, open eyes glazing over as death consumed her. A pair of Olivia's underwear shoved into her own mouth by a crazed maniac holding a fireplace poker with a glowing red tip in his other hand. The memory of Brian's broken face snapped her back to the present.

"Olivia?" said Alex, moving to stand in Olivia's line of view.

Olivia shut her eyes and inhaled deeply, holding Alex's voice in her mind like a beacon. "Yeah. Um . . ." She remembered the question now, and recited the facts flatly. "Then, he dragged my boyfriend in the room—Brian. He had already beat him up. I didn't even know Brian was there until then. And, um . . . that's when he started raping me, in front of Brian."

"What did Brian do?" Alex said quietly.

"He was in shock, so at first he didn't do anything." Olivia said, clearing her throat. "After a while, I heard him yelling at Lewis. And then Lewis kicked him." She brought her lips together tightly. "And then he started pounding on me with my own belt," she said, bringing her hand down in a whipping motion. Her eyes stared at a spot on the floor. The swish of judge's robes and a juror sniffling cut through the silence. "Brian shouted at him to stop."

"And what did he do then, Olivia?"

Olivia's head snapped up and her eyes trained on Alex. "He rummaged through my closet until he found a baseball bat. And he started smashing it into Brian's head until I heard a . . ." Unable to continue because of the tears clogging her throat, she looked down and said, "I'm sorry."

"Take your time, Detective."

Regaining her composure, Olivia said, "There was a cracking sound, and I knew it was his skull." She wiped tears away with a tissue and said, "And as it turns out, I was right. He died then."

"Did you see him die, Olivia?"

She paused, her eyes glazing over, and then whispered, "Yes." She turned her head toward Lewis, boring a hole in him with her glare. "And then he spent the next twelve hours beating me, burning me with cigarettes, and raping me."

She took a deep breath and looked back toward Alex, afraid if she didn't she might be tempted to lunge at Lewis and hurt him once again. She gulped and said, "He ended up raping me with a searing hot fireplace poker."

Gasps arose from the jury box. After a few more questions, she watched Alex sit down as Lewis' attorney rose. His words failed to provoke an enraged response from her like the last time. She no longer feared his fate—she knew he would rot in a jail cell forever, probably being raped daily, unable to ever rape again because of her actions, and she was at peace with that outcome.


	12. Chapter 12

_**Author's comments: **__BTW, the title of this story is from "Dance Without You," by Skylar Grey. Good song._

_ Sorry it took so long to update, but I wanted to tie all the ends together, and I ended up changing the order around a little. So this is one long chapter, and this is it. It may take me a few days to start a new story, because I have some other projects I have to work on first. I do have an idea for the next one, though. Think I'm going to attempt my first AO story, and it's going to start off where this one ends. A little love triangle to make Elliot jealous, tee hee. _

**I Wanna Dance Without You**

Chapter Twelve

Part 1.

Olivia clenched her eyes shut, waiting for the verdict. "We find the defendant guilty . . ."

Her heart pounding, she said, "Oh, thank God," and turned to hug Elliot as tears washed away the terror of the last few months. "Thank God," she said again, refusing to watch as Lewis hobbled away for the last time.

"Let's go celebrate," said Elliot.

"Yeah," she said, "Right after I process that paperwork on Jenny."

Elliot grimaced and looked away, but Olivia knew that if it didn't get done properly, Jenny might get off on a technicality. "Elliot, I have to do it."

"Alright," he said, "I'll help. It'll be faster if we work together."

An hour later, she found it difficult to concentrate through bleary eyes, and got up to stretch her legs. She lingered in front of the coffee machine, lost in her own thoughts. "You okay?" Elliot's voice startled her, causing her to jump, and he put his hand on her shoulder and said, "Sorry."

"It's okay," she said softly, rubbing the back of her stiff neck. "It's just that—this trip down memory lane wasn't the most pleasant today."

"Understandable," said Elliot, bringing a coffee cup to his lips.

"I, uh . . . I had tried to put all that behind me, but now it's back at the surface again."

"It's going to take time," he said.

"Yeah," she said, "And meanwhile, it's really hard to do my job without . . ." She shook her head.

"Without what?" he said.

Her eyes landed squarely on his. "Without over-identifying with the victims," she said.

"And yet," he said, rubbing her shoulder, "you're doing a pretty good job of it."

"Am I?" she said. "I went a little overboard with Anna—you said so yourself."

He paused, and then said, "You saw something that none of the rest of us could see, Liv, and now her mother's going to be behind bars, where she needs to be. Maybe we were all wrong and you were right, after all."

She hesitated, looking into those intense eyes of his, and said, "God you're sexy when you're kissing up."

"I'm not—" But she didn't let him get the words out, shutting them off with her lips. "Mmmm . . . maybe I'm kissing up a little now," he murmured.

"Sshhhh . . ." she said, pulling his body against hers and locking onto his lips once again. Their mouths probed each other, and her body began to throb in that tell-tale way that said she did not just want him, but needed him, and soon.

"You know," she said, "this place is empty, and I bet the loft is too."

His ravenous eyes pierced hers, and he said, "Start out where we left off last time?" Without waiting for an answer, he half-pushed, half-pulled her in the direction of the room full of empty beds. But she went willingly, starting to unbutton her blouse on the way.

Once they entered the room, he turned around to say something to her, and she pounced on him, tackling him onto a bed right behind him. He fell backwards, eyes wide as she devoured him with her mouth. She half-expected one of them to stop at any time and declare, "This is crazy—we can't risk it."

But instead, he said, "Ah, Liv," and she felt his erection growing, pressing into her. She un-wrapped the prize in his pants while he removed her shirt, and then the rest of her clothes. She pushed him back down on the bed, in the mood to dominate him today, and climbed on top of him, pressing her naked neatly-trimmed package against his hard-on as he stared admiringly at her body towering over him. "You're so beautiful when you're naked," he said, exploring her breasts with his fingers.

With the stress and anxiety of the Lewis trial and Anna's case, she had neglected this part of their relationship for far too long, and pressure had built to the point that the release valve was ready to burst. More than ready for this moment, she grabbed him and slid him inside her, exhaling the sexual tension between them.

Trying not to moan too loudly, but having a hard time keeping it in, she rode him, slow and smooth at first, but accelerating into a rewarding beat. He thrust into again and again, touching just the right spots deep inside to keep her swollen, and she practically purred.

"Elliot," she said once, closing her eyes and biting her lip now so she could enjoy the engorging flesh that caused the base of her spine to expand until she felt like she would burst. It was over for Elliot, and he pumped himself deep in her until he throbbed with two long thrusts, and then she went over the edge as well, gasping as every muscle twitched, her flesh locked onto his gushing erection.

As the orgasm wore off, she collapsed, exhausted, onto his bare chest. He stroked her hair, kissing her forehead gently, and she was in no hurry to leave the spot where they had consecrated new territory. She relished the evenness of his chest moving up and down, her on top of it, until footsteps made her jolt off him.

They hurriedly threw on clothes, just finishing up the last buttons as a figure appeared in the doorway. There Amanda stood, eyes wide and a smile creeping onto her face as she said, "Just needed to get something out of my locker. "Sorry, guys, I—"

She shook her head and averted her eyes as she swept toward her locker. Olivia exchanged frantic glances with Elliot, who shot her a look saying they should just get out of there before anyone else came along to figure things out. "Bye, Amanda," she said as they rushed out the door.

"Congratulations on the Lewis verdict," she called out after them. "We got the bastard."

Part 2.

"And what did Anna tell you, Detective Benson?" Alex said.

"She told me that her mother had touched her—sexually—since she was young." Olivia cast a glare in Jenny's direction, and saw the woman boring holes into her with her gaze. She prayed that Jenny would create a scene in front of the jury, to show them what a psycho she really was. "And that her mother had sodomized her."

"You conducted a search of Anna's room. I'm showing you the prosecution's exhibit twenty-five. Do you recognize this?"

Alex handed Olivia the sketch pad, and she examined it and said, "Yes. I found this under Anna's pillow."

"Can you tell if this is Anna's?" Alex said.

"Yes. First of all, when she was alive, Anna showed me some of her sketches, and they looked remarkably similar to these. Plus, she signs her name on all of her drawings, including these, and the signatures match."

Jenny's attorney rose to his feet. "Objection, your Honor, this witness is not an expert on

signatures—"

"I'll allow it," said the judge.

"I will pass these around for the jurors to judge for themselves," said Alex, "but can you describe what they depict?"

"Yes," said Olivia quietly. "They show drawings of Anna's mother performing sex acts on her. Keep in mind that some of these are dated as far back as two years ago, when she was barely even a teenager."

Olivia looked at the jurors examining the pictures, horrified expressions on their faces. "These are things no fourteen-year-old should even know about, let alone be drawing of their mother."

She could tell Alex was readying to put the final nail in the coffin. The leggy blonde didn't fail to deliver, saying, "Detective Benson, in your fourteen years of experience apprehending sex offenders, have you ever seen any girl depict sex acts like these in drawings, or in any other creative format for that matter, involving her own mother?"

"No, I have not. This has to be one of the most perverse cases I've seen."

"I have no further questions."

"Ms. Benson," said the defense attorney, Linus Tate, rising now. "Didn't you become personally involved with Anna, to the point of allowing her into your home and giving her your cell phone number?"

"Involved?" Olivia said, creasing her forehead. She did not like the sound of that word.

"You had a relationship with her," Tate said confidently.

"I, um . . . yes I gave her my number, and she came to my house, but—"  
"And at one point, she tried to kiss you, did she not?"

"Yeah, I—yeah." Olivia didn't know any other way to answer the question, and she knew Tate would cut off any attempts to explain the circumstances.

"And didn't she in fact take her own life after she thought you had rejected her?"

"No! That's not what happened—" Olivia said, trying to keep her cool.

"But she did take her own life after you talked to her, in a conversation where you told her she could not come to live with you, correct?"

Olivia paused, guilt choking her throat, before answering softly, "Yes."

Tate spun to face the jury, saying, "Would you say you allowed yourself to get a little too involved in this case, possibly leading this disturbed girl on? And perhaps her confessions were a jaded attempt to get your approval—"

"Objection!" Alex said, standing.

"Just as she had tried to get approval from others in the past—"

"Sustained—Mr. Tate that will be enough," said the judge. "Save it for closing arguments."

"I apologize—withdrawn, your Honor."

Olivia stepped down from the witness stand, fighting back alternating waves of anger and shame. All of what he had said was true, except for the part about Anna making up the story. She sat down next to Elliot, who brushed his fingers lightly over her hand as his secret way of consoling her. He looked at her, and she mouthed the words, "I fucked up," staring straight ahead to see how much her mistakes would cost in the quest for justice for Anna.

Warner took the stand next and testified that she had found one of Jenny's pubic hairs from the rape kit performed on Anna. She also found signs of vaginal trauma, but given Anna's sexual exploits with another student, the piece of evidence was not conclusive. Olivia hoped the sketchy forensic evidence would be enough to convince the jury.

Part 3.

Elliot hugged Olivia in a quiet corner of the hallway. "It's not your fault," he whispered into her ear.

His words failed to erase the pit in her stomach left behind by Anna's death, and Olivia sniffled a tear away. "I need to go freshen up in the restroom," she said.

"Okay," he said, looking into her eyes one more time. The last few months had been a whirlwind of crazy, and Elliot had been the only sane constant in all of it, even with the madness of their own conflicts inserted once in a while.

She washed her stained face in the bathroom sink and began to re-apply make-up. The prosecution and defense had just finished making closing arguments, and now began the grueling wait for the verdict. She planned on going to a coffee shop with Elliot in the hopes that food and his company would be a long enough distraction until the jury made its decision.

A woman slipped in through the bathroom door, and Olivia glanced at her reflection in the mirror, freezing in her tracks when she recognized the woman as Anna's mother. She knew Jenny had been able to make bail while she awaited trial, but seeing her here, walking free, startled Olivia.

Jenny's eyes locked on Olivia, and her voice shook as she said, "You killed my daughter. You killed Anna."

Olivia spun around to face the woman. Even though she did feel partially responsible for Anna's death, Jenny's abuse of her own daughter made Olivia's blood run cold. She said boldly to the sociopathic woman, "Don't you even talk to me about Anna. How could you have hurt her like you did?"

Anna said, enunciating each word, "I never hurt her. She liked everything I did for her, and never once did she complain—"

"You used her," Olivia shouted, stepping forward so that she was face to face with Jenny. "You had sex with a little girl for your own perverted desires. You—sick—bitch."

"My little girl loved me, and she was _fine _before you came along." Tears and spittle flew from Jenny's face as she reached blindly into her pocket and pulled out a serrated hunting knife. Olivia flinched, her mind reeling as she tried to figure out how the woman might have gotten it through the metal detectors. Jenny said, her voice cold, "You took her from me—you took her life, and now I'm going to take yours."

The woman raised the knife, and without time to think, Olivia raised her arm and clasped her hand around Jenna's knife-wielding wrist. "Elliot!" she yelled out, while trying to wrestle the woman's arm down and away.

Jenny yanked her arm back and out of Olivia's grasp just as Elliot sprang into the bathroom, his eyes wide. "She's got a knife," said Olivia, and Jenny began to bring the weapon down again, this time aiming straight at Olivia's chest.

Elliot caught her arm this time, and held it firmly while Olivia grabbed her other arm and swung it behind the woman's back. Panting, she whipped out her handcuffs and slapped them on Jenny's wrist as Elliot forced her other arm behind her back. "Jenny Matthews, you're under arrest," Olivia said.

As they escorted her out of the restroom, Olivia said to Elliot, "Didn't you see her come in?"

Elliot shook his head, saying, "No, I don't watch everyone going into the lady's room. I didn't think—"

"Me either," said Olivia. "She must have snuck in. But how did she get the knife in here?"

Elliot examined the knife that he had retrieved from the floor. "It's not metal," he said. "Looks like ceramic."

"Come on," Elliot said to Jenny, "Let's go tell the judge you have to make a detour."

Part 4.

Olivia stood over her mother's gravesite for a minute, and then bent down to deposit the bundle of flowers on the neatly trimmed plot. She stood again, and closed her eyes as Elliot rested a hand on her back. "You doing okay?" he asked.

She nodded. "Alright, take your time," he said.

Thinking back on the horrors of Anna's case, she said, "It's amazing how enmeshed a person can become with their mother."

Elliot took a moment to answer, saying, "Are you talking about Anna, or—"

"Yeah," she said. "That girl would have never figured out right from wrong if things kept going the way they did. We could have had a future sexual predator on our hands."

"At least we got a conviction on her mother," said Elliot. "Thanks to you, she'll be locked up for at least five years."

"Yeah." She squinted her eyes and said, "The whole thing makes me wonder how enmeshed I was with my mother. Maybe there were things she did that I've overlooked . . ."

"Like what?" said Elliot.

She shook her head. "I guess not. I didn't become an alcoholic, and generally I rebelled against her instead of trying to emulate her. But she did have a tendency to become controlling and violent."

He slid his arm around her shoulders and said, "Which you are sometimes, with the perps. But you have empathy, so you turned out pretty well-balanced, considering."

She smiled, heat rising to her face in the form of a blush. "Thanks, El," she said, wrapping her arm around his waist and resting her head on his shoulder. "Now let's go get some Chinese."


End file.
